Houston, Texas

Ok, this isn't really a small town, but I read this news story and the story itself is really small town.

HOUSTON — Investigators say a woman caused her husband’s death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning.

The enema caused his blood alcohol level to soar to 0.47 percent — almost six times the legal intoxication limit in Texas, a toxicology report showed.

Tammy Jean Warner, 42, was indicted on a charge of negligent homicide. She is also charged with burning the will of her husband, Michael Warner, a month before his death on May 21.

Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism but couldn’t ingest alcohol by mouth because of painful medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson, Texas, police detective Robert Turner. The enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.

Turner said police think Warner gave her husband at least two large bottles of sherry, which is stronger than wine, in the enema.

“We’re not talking about little bottles here,” Turner said, “These were at least 1.5-liter bottles.”

This is exactly the kind of small town living that gets me going. Can you imagine the conversation. "Honey you want a little sherry with your Chocolate Decadence?" I'm positive it was chocolate decadence.

Then I found this-

Woman Denies Sherry Enema Charge

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman indicted last month for allegedly giving her husband a lethal sherry enema said he was an enema addict who did it to himself, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Tammy Jean Warner said late husband Michael Warner had an alcohol problem and enjoyed giving himself wine or sherry enemas because his body would absorb the spirits more quickly that way.

“That’s the way he went out and I’m sure that’s the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas,” she told the Houston Chronicle.

Michael Warner, 58, died on May 21 and was found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered too drunk to drive in Texas.

Mrs. Warner, 42, is accused of giving her husband a sherry enema even though she knew alcohol was bad for this health and faces a charge of criminally negligent homicide.

“There’s no way I could have gave my husband that enema, no way,” she said.

Police in Lake Jackson, Texas, 40 miles south of Houston, said there was evidence that Mr. Warner had received two large bottles of sherry.

“It all started back when he was a child,” Mrs. Warner explained. “His mother used to give him enemas all the time, and he started to depend on them.”

“He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap,” she said. “He had enema recipes.”

Mrs. Warner, a former bartender who got married to Warner in October 2002, is also charged with destroying his will, but she denied the charge, the Chronicle said.

Currently free on $30,000 bail, she is scheduled to go to trial in July. If convicted, she faces up to two years in prison and a $10,000 fine on each charge.

So you see, city people? You don't have to live in a small town to act like it. Now get out there and reverse your evolutionary process.

Houston must have thousands of registered sex offenders.