Well, sorry I've been away for a while. I've been up in Starvation Heights, OR. It's a quaint little place with a population of 23 (it was 27 but they had four murders last year). There's not much to do up in SH other than think about your life. So for the past three weeks I've been reflecting over politics and what I would do if I were to be elected.1. No more not drinking. I mean buck the fuck up and have a cocktail. It's ridiculous.
2. No more being overly sensitve about things. If you someone tells you, you have a big ass you probably do.
3. Gambling would be legal in all 300 states (read on, we're taking some shit over).
4. Steroids would be mandatory for all pro sports. If you're gonna be making that kind of money there's gotta be some risk involved.
5. Shitty ads are punishable by death.
6. We invade Mexico tomorrow. NO borders= No border issues.
7. All cities are banished and divided into small towns.
That's it. Seven new rules to live by when I'm president. This is an overview of SH. There was no pictures of it on the internet except Google maps, and I traded my camera for a bottle of plum wine.
This was my hotel. The Starvation Inn.
Have you noticed how much dust is in sand? Like whats the difference really? Sand and dust are pretty much the same thing.
There are no residents of SH that are not registered sex offenders.
Dear Mr. Hall.
ReplyDeleteI think I would vote for you if you ran for President.
I really agree with your proposals. But I really liked No. 2.
Just the other day I was wearing the worst and ugliest shirt I own. I was at the hardware store shopping for tarps and duct tape because Fall is coming up.
Anyway the sales clerk said he liked my shirt, that he thought it was cool. I got really pissed off.
Only an idiot would like that shirt, so I told him so. I got so pissed that I left without buying anything.
Now what in the hell am I going to do? It's already October and I don't have any tarps or duct tape.