Dear Things I think I think I think,
Thanks for apologizing to me for being so mean. It's not easy being the greatest living thing on the planet. Luckily I have Scientology and a really weird wife and kid who help me get through it. Oh and I'm gay.
I really love being gay. It's so fun, just gaying out all the time. And since I've got a kid and a wife now most people don't suspect it anymore. The church of Scientology is really just one big gay. I love gay. Gay is great, or should I say gayte.
One thing about being gay is that it's just so much more fun that not.
We'll thanks for writing me hopefully you're having a gay time, too.
Your gay friend -Tom Cruise
Oh my god. I'm such a good fucking spy. You totally thought I was Tom Cruise, ha. No, never even met him. We'll that just goes to show you how easy it is to be a spy when your as wily as me.
Monongah has one registered sex offender, Tom Cruise.
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