Normally I wouldn't have anything nice to say at all about Connecticut, because I know some real doueschebags from there, but this is different. I had a huge crush on a girl from Essex.
Me and this other kid named Kevin used to be totally in love her. Her name was Winnie Cooper. She had long black hair and really cute eyes and legs that you could tell were gonna be really hot when she was older. Any way he was a real pushy little fucker that Kevin Arnold. With his little smile and his perfectly worn Jets jacket, he ended up getting Winnie right out from under me.
But a couple of days ago I was thinking about her and so I decided to look her up on the internet. What slut! There were like 100 pictures of her practically naked. My innocent little Winnie, a true modern day Jezebel. I mean Jesus, she really grew up in a good way.
Her real name is Danica McKellar and she's just as hot as she was then, but now she's legal. Essex is a sex offender.
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