Pardeeville, Wisconsin

Before we get started let me just say, yeah it's a real town. Got that out of the way, here we go.

Pardeeville has a watermelon festival on Labor day. You can do all sorts of things with watermelons, and they're quick to point out that it's 'all you can eat'. Some PARDEE.

But the real meat of this entry is about a story I read in the Madison News.



PARDEEVILLE, Wis. -- Authorities in Columbia County said a 36-year-old man tied up his young son with tape after the boy refused to wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's game last Saturday. Sheriff's Lt. Wayne Smith said Mathew Kowald was cited for disorderly conduct for the incident involving his 7-year-old son at their home in Pardeeville this past weekend. Kowald was accused of restraining the boy for an hour with tape and also taping a jersey onto him during that time.The father was arrested on Monday after his wife called authorities. Kowald was taken to the county jail and held until Wednesday, when he pleaded no contest, paid a fine of $186 and was released. Kowald defended his actions in a phone call to WISC-TV , saying that he did tie his child up but that it was in a playful manner."I taped his legs. He thought he couldn't get out; I let him out. The other two wanted me to do it to them to get him out," Kowald said. "It was just a joke, like, 'I'm not wearing them because you like them, dad.' I said, 'Yeah, you are.' We only had it on them, he took it off. Once the shirt was off, it was off."Kowald said that when police arrived at his door, he was stunned."I had no idea anything like this was even possible. It wasn't like I kept them there and trapped them. It was just when they couldn't get out, we let them out," Kowald said.The Columbia County clerk said that two felony charges Kowald was arrested on suspicion of -- causing mental harm to a child and false imprisonment -- were dropped on Wednesday morning. Kowald was expected to appear in Columbia County Circuit Court on Wednesday, but didn't have to appear because he wasn't charged with the two felonies.Columbia County District Attorney Jane Kohlwey said there wasn't enough evidence against the father to support felony charges. She said there is no physical injury to the child and that there is no evidence to warrant further evaluation of any emotional damage."I am in no way condoning this action by a parent, but I have to follow what the law says," Kohlwey said.Smith said that Kowald's wife filed a restraining order Wednesday, so Kowald will not be able to have contact with his family. Smith said other domestic issues have surfaced, though he wouldn't elaborate.

I don't really even know where to start with this one, but here goes. First off, what the fuck is a kid in Wisconsin doing talking back to his folks? Especially a guy who looks like that. He looks like raping and strangling had a kid. And that's not all. The guy doesn't even think he did anything wrong. And who knows maybe he didn't. I mean, if my kid doesn't like the same team as me I think it's fair game to do what ever it takes. Why stop at taping a jersey to him? Why not take him down to the basement and make him watch Packers games for like ten days straight. If he still refuses force a Green Bay tattoo on him.

My favorite part of the story is how he only got fined 186 dollars. Thats totally worth it. That's like cheaper than a baby sitter, and way more fun. I wonder what kind of tape it was? I hope duck tape, that's the kind I'm gonna use when I do it.

We'll, see you next town. Remember, go Packers! Or Else!

Pardeeville has at least one registered kid taper.